


Can We Pretend?

by jlpierre



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Forced Cohabitation, Sharing a Bed, Sharing a Room, side stormpilot, to real relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-04 09:35:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17896007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jlpierre/pseuds/jlpierre
Summary: When a wedding makes a single Rey feel alone, she doesn't fight pretending to be Ben's fake fiance for the weekend. Forced together, pretending to be in love, will the weekend make them realise how made for one another they really are?





	Can We Pretend?

**Author's Note:**

> This is a reposted piece from an old account, reyandthesolo.  
> Find Me On Tumblr: [jlpierre](https://jlpierre.tumblr.com)  
> Or on Facebook at [jlpierre](https://www.facebook.com/jlpierrewriter/)  
> 

As soon as she swiped the sunglasses from her face and stepped out of the taxi, Rey's jaw dropped open. The house—the place where she would be staying for an entire week—was larger than anything she had seen before. It was daunting, forcing her to swallow back her fears of forks and etiquette. Coming from a run-down flat on the outskirts of London, this felt like a palace, and Rey questioned every clothing choice she had packed as she stood in the shadow of the large home. 

Rey had found herself so lost in thought she only barely heard the muttered price from the taxi driver. When frustration seemed to mount in the driver, and after he honked his horn, Rey handed him several notes, hoping her apparent shock wasn't too easily read.

The gravel crunched under her converses, a bead of sweat running down her spine, sticking her cheap t-shirt to her back from the heat and upcoming nerves. She just _needed_ to see Finn, and she'd feel better, that's what she repeatedly told herself because she knew he would be feeling the same. Neither of them had come from money, and neither of them had ever had much—not until Finn had met Poe, and his life had changed forever.

As the doors opened _magically_ before she had even gotten close—although she was sure they were automatic—her eyes widened further. Noticing, and almost being blinded by the shiny marble floor, the sparkling chandelier that shone light all over the room, welcoming her into the foyer. _Fuck_ , she thought to herself, Rey was not prepared for this, not at all. This place was _posh_ , something she was not.

"Rey!"

Her body spun, the sheer shine of the floor and the sparkle of the surfaces nearly blinding her, causing her head to rush, taking a second for her eyes to focus on the voice coming towards her. _Oh,_ she sighed to herself, _not him._

She grimaced as the short, stocky male who was coming towards her, his eyes glittering with glee at the sight of her—a look she couldn't reciprocate. It wasn't that Harold was rude or impossible to look at, but he made Rey's skin crawl with how _leechy_ he would become—feeling the need to _protect her_ and touch her when she didn't ask for it. He hadn't left her side at the engagement party; actually, if she was honest, he had tried to keep her childhood dog BeeBee from being anywhere near her as though he wanted to dominate all of her attention. None of this was aided by the fact Rey was _still_ single, something she was reminded at every chance on the run-up to this wedding, and something that soberer at the engagement party—something Harold couldn't seem to forget.

"You made it!" Harold hissed, arms opening ready to invite her in for a hug, something she refused.

Rey froze, finding his fingers graze her arms as she tensed to a breaking point. "It is my brother's wedding," she said as pleasantly as she could force. Her eyes suddenly caught sight of the man in question, and her smile suddenly grew, "speaking of which," Harold let go of her as she scurried past him, lugging her suitcase with her, "nice to see you, Harold." When out of earshot, she bitterly added a, " _Not._ "

The wheels of her two suitcases whirred against the marble, her feet hurrying faster and faster. Rey was nearly breaking into a run by the time she was in front of Finn, embracing him like they had been apart for years when it had only been a few days.

"Rey," he wheezed, his arms holding her together, anchoring her back to the earth, "I was getting worried."

"I had some finishing touches to make," she smiled, feeling his warmth still around her even when his arms weren't. "You excited?"

Finn laughed, rubbing the back of his head—the sign he made when he was nervous.

"Nervous?"

He laughed louder, and Rey found she smirked at how Finn was still unable to hurt absolutly anyone's feelings. 

"Sorta, not about Poe or the wedding just the sheer size of this." Finn's eyes scanned up to the ceiling, "This place is far too fancy for us."

"The house is actually _huge!_ " Rey grinned. "I hope I have a butler, and a bath the side of a swimming pool, and oh, I must have a king sized bed, if I haven't I'll be—"

"Rey," Finn interrupted, a look of sorrow over his face and she felt the immediate pang of nervousness she got when someone was about to tell her something she wouldn't like. "Just because of the number of people, and Poe's RAF friends…"

Rey sighed, her shoulders sinking. "My room got downgraded didn't it, are you serious, Finn?"

"I'm sorry, I am," Finn exclaimed, and she deep down she knew he was.

Pouting, she stamped her foot. " _Finland_!"

" _Stop_ ," he laughed just as she replaced her pout with a smile. "And please don't call me that, not this weekend. There are people around who, you know, will remember it for _ever_."

She knew it wasn't his fault; it was a wedding, and these things happened. Rey still couldn't help but be a little disappointed, the idea of a week-long was daunting, but the idea of a large bed and free food had coaxed her to get in the taxi in the first place. Plus, places such as this one always had Wi-Fi.

Sighing, Rey forced a grin to pass over her face as he relaxed. "Look, it's okay, help me check in will you; it's the very least you can do, _brother_?" Rey said teasingly, his hand moving to hers, "Ugh let go of my hand, I'm not ten!"

"I'm guiding you—"

"I'm _twenty_! I don't need to be led anywhere," Rey hissed as Finn laughed.

"Fine, I'm protecting you from all the single eagle's who will want to peck you," Finn teasedfeasibleand Rey visibly shuddered. "It's gonna be a long weekend for you, fighting them off without your usual rain stick weapon."

Rey rolled her eyes as she rang the bell at the reception. "I can't believe you banned me from bringing it, just because I broke one man's cheekbone."

Finn stopped forced her to stop. "His teeth ended up in our engagement cake. He's also here, and his name is _Derek."_

"His name is a _dickhead-_ who-put-his _-hand-on-me."_

He shook his head. "I feel sorry for the man who'll end up marrying you."

* * *

Her room was nothing like she pictured, but the view from her room made up for it. For one, she didn't have a king-size bed, and secondly her television was so small she would have to sit in front of it to see anything. The view of the lake, however, seemed to calm her—the never-ending water she imagined swimming in, the picturesque trees all around it. She didn't care if she slept on a bed smaller than the one at her flat, Rey would sleep with the blinds open and imagine she was laying under the stars as she had done as a child with Finn.

Rey dressed in a simple dress, dashing down the staircase, nearly taking out several staff as she apologised and smiled. Her hand grasped a flute of champagne, feeling the bubbles tickle her throat before she had taken a sip, catching eyes with Poe who sent her a little wink as he spoke to a guest.

The two of them were made for one another. Finn, who had always wished to fly, fell for a man who flew aeroplanes for a living—serving his country in the RAF. Poe, who always wanted someone grounded and compassionate, fell in love with the kindest banker in all of London. She had never questioned Poe when Finn brought him back to their flat—now all hers—she knew deep down how perfect he was, just from the look the two exchanged when they were around one another. It was suffocatingly cute.

Rey had always lost herself in the moment, her smile growing as she relaxed her shoulders and tried to forget the week from hell she had left behind in the city. Between her cleaning job and her late-night job at a 24hr coffee shop, Rey had barely any time to craft the metal ornaments she sold on her online shop—the only thing she had ever been sure she wanted to do. She sipped her drink, letting the alcohol take effect; allowing the sweetness fill her senses, almost willing to let her guard down when she saw another approaching colleague of Finn's.

"Fuck," she whispered, looking around for somewhere to hide, hating the cream ruched dress she thought she'd be safe he. "Fuck, fuck, _fuck_."

She had been so lost in her need to escape; she hadn't noticed the chest she had run into with a thud. Rey braced, slowly looking up to meet a pair of eyes darker than black, medium length hair hanging around his face and a look of utter disgust spreading over his face. Rey remembered him from the engagement party, Finn had told her his name was Bob or Solomon or something like that. She also recalled how he remained along the outer edge, never interacting with anyone but Finn and a tall red-haired man he seemed to despise.

She swallowed, knowing it would be impolite to apologise, but her need to avoid another conversation asking if she was " _still single then?"_ was of greater importance than being polite.

Her eyes glazed over his black suit, the way it fitted him and the missing pop of colour all the others had—because even his shirt happened to be black—made him stick out like a sore thumb. Rey moved to step aside, but his hand gripped her forearm firmly, almost bruisingly as his glare slowly pierced into her soul, and yet she didn't feel scared. Truthfully, Rey knew she could do more damage to him than he could ever do to her. However, she didn't like anyone grabbing at her—not even Finn.

"Running won't do you any favours."

Her eyes narrowed, wrenching her arm free from his grip. "Thank you, random _stranger._ However, I'll take my chances."

The man snorted, and it ruffled feathers she hadn't even known she had. Rey opened her mouth before closing it again, feeling her cheeks burn and her mind go blank.

"Stand here," he said firmly, and she wanted to argue, but his eyes forced her to comply. "Turn around, and just...smile or _something_."

Rey rolled her eyes, doing just that as she saw the colleague still smiling in her direction, hoping to catch her attention. She could feel a coldness go down her spine, not sure if she had prepared herself enough for the number of people—the quantity of questions—that came with being, not only, the single bridesmaid, but the single sister. She wasn't allowed to ponder, feeling a rigid, stiff hand move around her hip, a cold hand placing on her firmly.

Rey fought the urge to hiss at him, half-wishing she remembered her name so she could ask him to piss off. Because while he may know Finn, it didn't save _him_ from the wrath that would come from touching her. She looked up at the man behind her, glaring a look into him as sharp as daggers, wishing her eyes were made from them so she could half him where he stood, just for touching her. Just for _thinking_ he could touch her.

"Smile," he said in his cold, bored tone, and she did so sarcastically. "So, do you think this is all over the top and unnecessary also, or are you marvelling at the tiny touches?"

"Neither," Rey said sharply, finding herself rooted to the spot by the man behind her, and the fact his presence seemed to be warding off eyes and approaching ' _suitors'._

The man laughed, it was dry and forced, and it grated on her more than she cared to admit. "I can read your mind," his deep voice continued, "there is no point lying to me."

Rey's cheeks flushed as she lifted her chin to meet his eyes, finding his attention fixed on her, but not in the same way Poe's family did or Finn's friends. She contemplated the devil out in the guests or the devil who had his arm around her, and she realised she couldn't do much worse.

"I'm not lying."

He scoffed again, and the shoot of air blew a piece of her hair across her shoulders, tickling her skin.

"They're happy," she continued, attempting to ignore him. "I'm happy that they're happy."

He cocked his head as she turned her head to face the room, not wanting to look at him, not needing to see the ridiculous, smug face. "Now, that is the most human _go-to_ answer for when they've been called out on their lack of joy for such _life-binding_ celebration if I ever did hear."

"It's a wedding!"

The man rolled his eyes. "Ah yes, how silly of me to forget the world that makes the binding sound less life-ending."

Rey took his hand in hers, throwing it from her hip and he laughed mockingly. "You talk a lot for saying no one else cares."

"Not usually."

" _What_?" She hissed under her breath.

He lifted his champagne flute to his lips with a cold-hard stare at her. "I don't usually talk this much."

"How _lucky_ for me," Rey said sarcastically, turning on her heels to face her body towards him. "I feel you are expecting a thank you, but I didn't _need_ saving. I have been in a room of people similar to this before, and I can do it again."

Lifting his drink at her, he tilted his head in mock congratulations, and it angered her more than she cared to admit. Rey found, even without knowing his name or who he knew here, that he wasn't going to disappear into the woodwork—and she hated the very thought.

"I remember, visibly. I see _Derek's_ jaw's healed—how unfortunate I must say, I nearly bought you a drink just for silencing him." He looked her over once more, and she noticed the lines around his eyes and the freckles on his cheeks. "Well, _Rey_ , if you decide you don't _need_ saving, I'll be around."

Rey felt a shiver run up her spine, staring at him for a second before her brain kicked in, thinking up words to fire back at him. Before she could say any of them or ask him how he knew her name, he had turned from her, leaving the room without caring to say goodbye to anyone, including the two people he happened to be here for.

* * *

Rey hadn't understood why her brother had wanted to combine a holiday into a wedding, especially as the two of them, had ever enjoyed a single holiday. She changed her mind when her eyes gazed over the programme of the various things they could do here: hiking or swimming, rock-climbing or canoeing. Suddenly, Rey came around to the idea that this place wasn't all that terrible about the same time as Poe handed her a gift card for the spa.

The guests had a few days to mingle before the wedding, and a few days after to celebrate and drink. It still sounded like a lot of work, not comfortable for someone who disliked crowds, but Rey convinced herself for each forced _social activity_ she completed, she could reward herself with a walk outside or an activity.

Rey chose not to hang around with the other guests after the initial meet and greet event—turned lunch and day drinking. She made her excuses to Finn and Poe. To others, she cared less about she explained she had _super-important_ bridesmaid things to do, which had been a complete lie, but who would question it. The truth was, she despised being around so many people all the time. Rey had always preferred her own company, having previously only ever used to it, and Finn. People generally didn't have boundaries, and most of them that were here wanted to place a hand on her arm, pitying her for her upbringing or her relationship status.

When Rey had finally arrived at her room, she decided to dress more practically before venturing out into the countryside, knowing as soon as the sun set, the cold would come with it—and she didn't need to be ill while celebrating. She practically darted down the stairs, sneaking out into the world away from the many leeches and family members that had no boundaries.

The sun was setting, showing the day was coming to a close before Rey had a chance to realise, and as the beauty of this place began to shimmer in the last rays of the day, she wished she had brought her phone to take photos. Her hand grazed the wooden fence that led to the woodland path, taking in the fresh air and nothingness that surrounded her. Rey could get used to this, she thought to herself, and it was only then in the midst of her _reward_ did she see the man from that morning. Rey hadn't seen the tall-dark and slightly odd man until then, as though he had vanished.

His eyes fixed on hers, and Rey felt her breath being stolen by his hauntingly dark eyes, as though they called to her, as silly as Rey knew that seemed. He didn't nod in her direction, or even acknowledge her existence, even if he was walking directly towards her. She didn't know what to do, and the nervousness of such and the _need_ to say something mingled together, exploding into a random sentence firing from her mouth.

"Some people _like_ to get married, for your information," Rey said with a snarl, and he softly dipped his brows as he attempted to seem indifferent. "You know, from our conversation _this_ morning?"

The man stopped just short of her, casting his eyes over her like he was judging her. "It was lunchtime, _actually_. But, regardless, are you, _one of those_ people?"

Rey folded her arms, not having expected him to reply. The height difference seemed much larger now she was out of her heels. 

"I don't know," she responded, "I haven't given it much thought."

He flicked his brows up, seemingly disgruntled by her answer. "You should, not like you'll be given many options."

Rey felt a flicker of anger cross through her, like a bolt of lightning that set her nerves on edge. It wasn't as if _he_ was so fabulous and handsome—although as she continued to look at him, it was getting harder to argue that case. But he most definitely didn't have a billion girls throwing themselves at him; he was here alone too. And while yes, she was here alone, she at least had annoying members of Poe's family trying to get a kiss from her.

She wanted to calm herself down, Rey not needing him to see he was bothering her; even though he had just insulted her, and had intended to offend her at that. He was testing her, irking her on purpose; he was probably experiencing a bad day and wished for someone else to join him in his horridness. She wanted to rise above it, but she couldn't, she was stubborn and unwilling to back down from anything. That's how she had gotten into arts and crafts; Rey hadn't been good at one stage, but she had been determined not to give up.

"Oh, should _I now?"_ Her tone laced with ice, hoping it would freeze him to the spot—but he didn't bat an eyelash. "Why thank you so much, _Derren Brown:_ Mind Reader or, better that, random-man who thinks he's some knight in a black suit that saves women at weddings."

The corner of his lips twitched, and she felt a flicker of pride wash over her from his expression. He stuck out his hand, awkwardly and lacking confidence, but wasn't nervous. "I'm Ben," he said in a bored drone she realised was just his voice, "the real Derren Brown seems a bit of a cunt."

Her eyes narrowed, " _is he for real?"_

His hand remained between the two of them, his eyes watching her, studying her. "I am most definitely for real," Ben continued, his lips curling into a smirk.

Rey took his hand judging him, shaking it firmly—just like Poe had taught her for job interviews. "I'm Rey Jakoulin—like _jac-koo-lin_ , not like _jac-uh-lin—_ but I assume you already know that, for some baffling reason." Their hands let go of the others.

"Pleasure to meet your acquaintance, Rey Jakoulin," Ben to run to keep up with him practically her surname.

She smiled softly. "Finn's my brother—foster brother," his eyebrow raised at her words, "hence why our surnames are different…"

The wind blew in the trees, rustling leaves across their feet, but neither broke from examining the other. He was an enigma, and she wasn't sure why she hadn't been properly introduced to him if Ben had been invited to both the wedding and engagement party. Especially because Rey was _always_ with either Finn or Poe, and she was sure she had never seen this man.

"So, Ben. Are you some Professor X-alien in disguise or are you a mind reader, or did you do your research before you arrived at the venue? Scouted everyone at the engagement party—you have had six months to gather intel."

Ben sniggered, dark and dry just like before. "It is my job to profile," he replied as dry as ever, lacking any more information. Rey cocked her brow, waiting for him to elaborate, pulling down the jumper to protect her from the wind. "Try not to rush to grab your pitchfork as I tell you this. I'm a banker; the deputy manager of the loan department at First Order Bank." He studied her as if waiting for her to react, but Rey did not. "I'm the reason that single-mothers _struggle_ to make ends meet and old couples don't get to add a conservatory to their property."

Rey smirked. "Don't forget the same person who gives loans out to students they can't afford."

Ben nodded, lifted his hand—as though impersonating holding a drink—in her direction, mimicking a _touché_ sort of moment. She bit down on her lip, moving her hands to her jean pockets as she tried to relax.

"Professor X was a human, with a mutation. He wasn't an alien, just so that you know."

Rey rolled her eyes. "I was being _facetious_."

"Interesting," he replied, lacking any tone that indicated he was actually interested.

She was about to say something to mock him when she heard the doors behind her slam into the frame. Her eyes briefly looked over her shoulder to see _another_ man she didn't recognise, and so moved to face Ben once more. Ben, however, had tensed and his jaw clenched. He shot her a look, one she didn't know the meaning of, and he suddenly grasped her waist.

"You owe me," he hissed in her ear.

For some odd reason, Rey compiled. Not sure if she was lost in the moment, or if the sudden movement had made her dizzy. His eyes looked at her pleadingly, just for a second, and she sighed, knowing exactly what it was like to be harassed at weddings when single.

"Kylo Ren," the red-haired male who had come from the house said with a smirk, "or are we going by Ben today?"

Rey felt his grip tightened around her waist, and she wished she could read him as quickly as he had read her minutes ago. Whoever this man was, it put him on edge, made him less confident and sparked such a reaction in him it made her consider he could actually be human. She watched as his jaw clench tighter, imagining his teeth grinding against each other; his eyes narrowed as a fire lit in them that Rey was sure—if he was able to—he'd choke the man in the middle of the room, regardless of it being a wedding.

"And _who_ is this?"

She smirked as she looked up at Ben, not sure what to expect. "Hux, meet my fiancé."

Rey's stomach dropped, her eyes widening as she waited, hoping at least, her brain would kick in. She didn't mean to—because he had looked out for her earlier—but Rey raised her foot and stamped her heel down into his, hearing something crunch.

* * *

"Fiancé!" Rey hissed as he guided her to the bar, her eyes were nearly popping out of her head as Ben walked with a slight limp. " _Fucking_ fiancé!"

"Will you!—" Ben hisses loudly, almost shouting before he looked around and lowered his voice, lowering his raised arms back to his side, "—keep your voice down." He looked at the barman, pausing before ordering. "What do you want?"

She felt his eyes, and she glared. "Are you buying?"

"Yes," he said tediously.

"Your oldest scotch, double. Or whatever is the most expensive," Rey answered, applying a sickly sweet smile on her face.

It served him right, _embarrassing_ her like that. Rey walked away from him, finding a table, knowing the two needed to sort whatever the hell this now was. While earlier he had kept one of Poe's cousins from latching onto her, it was a jump to becoming someone _Fiancé!_ And she would tell him that when he came over, not before she flung the expensive scotch—she didn't even like.

Ben, however, didn't give her much chance of speaking. He slid into his seat, slamming her glass down—as though she was the one in the wrong—before speaking and not allowing her a second.

"Look, you can be _pissed_ , and you can be a sour face bitch about this, but I panicked, and I feel I should apologise—"

Her brows lowered as she burned holes into him. "When you add _feel_ to the beginning of an apology, it takes the shine off it, dick," Rey interrupted.

Ben signed, raising his hand to rub his temple. "Hux and I have... _competitive_ history, and I simply overstepped, and I assure you it won't happen again."

"He _thinks_ I'm your fiancé; we can't banish that to the woodlands, _Ben_ whatever your fucking surname is—"

"Solo."

"—Fine, Ben Solo, but my bloody brother is getting married, and I guarantee, knowing the gossiping idiots here, _everyone_ will know! How the—you don't even know me?" Rey hissed, picking her drink up and sipping it before hissing in disgust at the taste.

"I don't _really_ know anyone," Ben hissed back at her. "Do I look like someone who is usually invited to such happy occasions?" Rey looked down, a soft smirk playing over her lips. "I guess for that I should apologise too, should I?"

She shot her head up, her frown line deepening as she questioned for the billionth time since he approached her that morning: was he serious? "You don't do much apologising, do you? It takes the shine off when you add a ' _guess'_ to the beginning part of it."

He shrugged, and the air twisted around them, weighing heavier, becoming stifling. Even though Rey was in a well-ventilated room, she couldn't breathe. Her heart was beating so hard in her chest she was sure it was betraying her; her eyes unable to keep breaking from his, as though something, somewhere, was forcing her to remain here with him because usually, Rey would have stormed off by now.

Ben sighed, running hands through his long hair as he began chanting _fuck, shit, wank,_ under his breath in quick recession as she stood there.

"Who was he?"

His eyes moved straight to hers, staring deep into her–so deep she was sure he was staring at layers of her she didn't even know existed.

"Hux. Armitage Hux," Ben replied, plain and calm–the opposite of what he had been like a second ago. "He's the bank assistant manager, the one who watches me like a hawk and is unable to let anything go. Hux has an obsession with my private life."

Rey rubbed her sides, feeling a chill even though it wasn't that cold in the bar at all. He saw, rolling his eyes as he removed his jacket and holding it out for her to take.

"Is that what Kylo Ren was all about?" She asked, snatching the jacket, a little mad at the roll of his eyes before placing it over her shoulders, leaning back into the chair as she caught a whiff of his wooden aftershave.

Her eyes drifted around the room, catching a look of confusion from Finn and she immediately groaned as she saw who was beside him.

" _Shit_ …"

Ben followed her eyes and Rey heard him hiss under his breath at the sight of Hux and Harold in deep conversation.

"I used to work with your foster-brother," Ben said out of nowhere. "Before I moved to loans."

Rey shook her head as she looked back at him. "I assume you're the Ben who threw a stapler at my _brother_ the week he started." Purposefully emphasising brother, because to her it didn't matter. Finn had been there for her, he was family; they didn't need to be blood. "He has a scar now because of that; I hope you know."

"I apologised for that."

"Well being on the receiving end of one of those from you, I'm sure Finn appreciated it," Rey hissed, sliding from her chair as she adjusted her jumper and let Ben's jacket fall from her arms. "I best do some damage control."

She was set to move when she felt Ben grasp her arm again, and this time it wasn't hard or bruising as earlier, and the gaze she met was softer and less dark than before. He was struggling with whatever his mind was concocting, and she had a bad feeling about it.

"You single?" Ben asked.

Rey nodded, and he smirked, her eyes narrowed as she clenched her jaw. "You?"

He nodded. "This weekend will be a chore for me. My mother is here, and she's already attempted to set me up with _someone,_ God, at this point probably anyone—"

"I think it's going to be a chore for _us both_ since you've shackled me to your obscenely large frame!"

Ben seemingly ignored her. "—I assume the men who were  _drooling_ after you aren't going to go away."

Rey narrowed her eyes. "What are you suggesting, Ben?"

"I'm _suggesting_ we carry this out all week, survive the _wedding_ , and go our separate ways."

She should refuse. She should tell Ben that she's a survivalist and Rey doesn't _need_ him to make this easier for her. Rey could get through a wedding, even if it were week long, because she had gotten through so much worse.

"I have a double room. A double king size bed. Lakeside view."

Rey bit the inside of her jaw, feeling eyes burning into the back of her skull from Finn. "You know anyone else here?"

Ben shook his head. "Finn and Hux. Finn invited me because—"

"You sorted the loan out for their renovation," Rey answered, and Ben nodded. She was a masochist; it was the only explanation for what she was about to say. "Fine. _Fine_ , I'll be your... _fiancé,_ but for this week only, no extra dates after like some bloody-call girl."

Ben nodded. "No emotional-induced touching."

"You don't like kissing in the rain?" Rey teased. "What about hand-holding when it gets cold?"

Ben seemed to shiver under the idea of it, and she felt a flush of annoyance that he insinuated, once again, she was repulsive. "I shall do that one, but nothing else."

"Fine," Rey agreed. "Not that I'm contaminated or anything, but fine. Now, I must speak to Finn."

He rolled his eyes, and she took that as a sign to go, hesitating for a second as she looked over him before taking her key from her back pocket.

"Get my things; I haven't unpacked."

Ben took the key with annoyance. "Room ten," he replied dryly, and she nodded.

* * *

She slammed the door to room ten behind her, growling under her breath at the uncomfortableness of having to explain to Finn why on Earth his colleague was now her fiancé. At first, he had understood, and when Poe had come over—warning her explicitly against messy relationships—she had stormed off in a huff, only for Finn to follow and ask her to start again.

Rey wasn't sure she even understood why she was going along with this, but what else was there to do? She wasn't going to live through seven days of Finn's engagement party again. Man after man thinking they could _crack her_ like she was some unbreakable egg. Plus, Ben looked like someone unapproachable, and she didn't really wish to be social this week, needing a week off from being smiley and happy.

Sliding down the door, her hands meeting the soft carpet of her _new_ room, Ben barely looked in her direction—which Rey was fine with. She watched him, studying his side profile as he furiously clicked buttons on the remote in his hand; his eyes staring at the screen of the television, watching nothing happen.

A faint scar ran down his cheek, tracing it down somewhere beneath his collar, and for some reason, she blushed at the thought of where it stopped. She wasn't attracted to him, of course, she wasn't! He was a rude, tall man who got her into a messy situation because he couldn't handle himself. She did not like him; she tolerated him.

"I can hear your brain from here," Ben bitterly said from the other side of the room. His head didn't turn to face her, his hands clenching the remote tighter so much so she heard it crack. "It's quite loud."

Rey rolled her eyes. "I'll turn it off shall I?"

He groaned to himself, and she chose to crawl into her knees before awkwardly standing up. The extra few steps Rey took gave her a better sight of the room, and she found she happened to be temporarily short-circuited from the view of the vast space. The windows overlooked a more beautiful part of the lake, Rey hadn't even imagined existed. The bed was larger than a double, and the place had its own living room. This was not a room for a couple, this was a room for royalty, and Rey immediately felt out of place.

"I can hear it again—" Ben hissed through gritted teeth, hammering the remote against his hand.

Rey didn't let him finish, her eyes staring around the room and the mini-kitchen. "This place is like a house! This place is _four times_ the size of my room! Twice the size of my bloody flat!"

He turned his head, glaring at her furiously. "It's a _premier_ room."

Ben turned back to the television; his jaw clenched similarly to the way it had with Hux. She was about to say something, mutter that the batteries could have died when he flung the remote across the room, it shattering apart as soon as it met the wall. Rey jumped, watching as the pieces fell to the ground. Ben ran his hands through his hair, yanking back the dark locks as he growled in anger.

Her hands brushed down her jumper, tugging lightly at the fabric, not knowing what to say as he unravelled in the chair. She wanted to tell him to pull himself together, that it was a remote for the television and it couldn't be _that_ hard, but then, Rey didn't really know him, she had _no idea_ how he'd react to her giving him advice he hadn't asked for.

"What are _you_ doing?"

Rey felt her cheeks tinge. "I don't know where to sleep."

Ben glared at her, fire in his eyes that wished to burn her. "Have the bed."

She frowned. "Is this some male heroic thing?"

He growled, louder this time as he clutched his hair, glaring even more intensely at her. " _Fine_. Have the floor."

Rey crossed her arms. "No. You can have the floor; you got us in this mess."

He didn't argue, and by the time she had gotten changed into her pjs—in the _ridiculously_ large bathroom—Ben was on the floor, a blanket that was way too short for his tall frame, his back facing her and his eyes on the lake outside the window. As her body slid into the sheets—that felt softer than anything she had felt against her skin—a slither of guilt was felt for the man on the floor.

"Can you silence your brain, it's so _fucking_ annoying," Ben groaned again.

The slither of guilt washed away, Rey seething to herself in the soft sheets, against the comfortable mattress.

* * *

R ey had expected to wake up to birds chirping and the sunshine lightly kissing her face. It was what she had dreamt about when she left London's smoky smell and arguing couples in the wall next door to hers.

Rey didn't wake up like that at all. Instead, she woke to Ben shouting at the top of his voice.

" _WHAT THE FUCK!_ "

She darted from the bed, running a hand through her hair as she felt the oddly-cut layers stick out at all angles. Trying to wrestle them into some order, the bathroom door swung open, and she came face to face with six-foot, topless, gym-honed Ben. And she couldn't fight the way something fluttered in her chest, and her eyes widened.

"God Ben, can you put on a t-shirt or something—"

"The _fuck_ is all of this?" Ben hissed, ignoring her as she moved closer to her, and she didn't know where to move her eyes. "You left _everything_ out! Toothbrush—which is susceptible to germs! Hair! in the—"

"I brushed my hair, and I can't help if bits fall—"

"—Never mind the fucking ridiculous amount of hair clips, and whatever this thing is," Ben snapped, lifting a box that rattled. "If you are going to stay here," he flung the box at her, "keep your shit to yourself."

Whatever momentary flicker of attraction she had initially felt, was quickly extinguished. She grabbed the box that flew towards her, her mind whirring with words that moved to the edge of her tongue, all prepared to fire back at him.

" _These_ ," Rey snarled, raising the box to his eye level, "are my contraceptive pills, you massive dickhead! My _shit_? As you so eloquently put, you massive giant-circle-jerk is only in this room because you jumped the fucking gun from me ' _owing you one'_ to getting bloody married! And! You long-haired baboon, should never, _ever_ wake a sleeping guest, or did your mother teach you _no_ manners?"

He didn't reply, his jaw clenching as he bit down on his lip. Rey held her ground, feeling the prickles of his eyes glaring at every part of her all at once, her mind exploding, unsure what to expect. He turned on his heel, moving back into the bathroom in two strides, and slammed the door on her and the room.

She sat down, sinking into the impossibly soft mattress that had once comforted her, but now annoyed her. The next six days were going to be so long; she wasn't sure she'd survive.

Rey managed to get into the " _shit-storm_ " Ben called their bathroom, and couldn't find a single thing wrong with it. It wasn't helped by the shouting through the door, " _remember we are getting married, so be appropriate_ or _don't wear your PJs to breakfast",_ —as though she even would in a place such as this. Getting ready for another person, was so much harder than just for herself. It took her four attempts to get her hair in a way she suspected Ben wouldn't growl at, and when that failed she settled for her usual three-ponytail up-do.

Ben didn't bat an eyelid at her, tutting as he stared at his watch as she walked out of the bathroom. Rey was momentarily disappointed in herself for even attempting to care for her _fake-fiancé."_

Rey however, couldn't help but stare at him. He was an arsehole, yes, but an arsehole that could become quite handsome when he dressed for breakfast. The black shirt cut into his figure perfectly, showing how toned his arms, in fact, were.

"So what do you do?" Ben asked, moving to open the door.

"In life?"

He rolled his eyes, and she wanted to punch him for how much of an arsehole he was. "As. A. _Job."_

Rey wrung her hands as she stepped past him, watching him in the corner of her eye as he locked the door behind them. "I work two bottomless jobs to pay for my rent, but I craft things from metal, discarded pieces from broken objects usually."

"Parents?" Ben asked, seemingly unimpressed by her profession, and she tried not to let it bother her.

"None. Orphaned. _Fostered_. To cut a long story," Rey answered as they walked beside one another. "You?"

Ben tickled her fingers with his, and the touch made her jump, a sea of walls arising in her mind as she tried to pull her hand away. "Mother, Father. Normal and boring," he answered, his hand grabbing hers as he nodded at some guests who passed them. "Hold, my, _hand."_

"Okay, _Supreme-Leader-_ Of-Relationships," she whispered bitterly, lacing their hands together as they entered the restaurant for breakfast.

Not even casting a glance at her, Ben pulled a chair out for her. "A ' _Supreme Leader'_ is someone who knows everything. Do I look like I've got a lot of information about relationships?"

Rey raised her brow, sinking into it. "Well, you did just pull my chair out?"

Ben snorted as he sat across from her, undoing his napkin. "I was _raised_ with manners."

"And yet, still became a bit of a dick," Rey taunted.

Ben didn't reply. He was distracted, his eyes scanning the room and if she had _actually_ been here with him, she would have been offended. The way he was acting, all high shoulders and dodgy eyes, made it appear he was hoping to avoid someone—and she _hoped_ it wasn't an ex-girlfriend. For one, Rey didn't need to get into an altercation, not with a room full of guests as witnesses, or did Rey need to be a third wheel in a fake-relationship-love triangle.

She swirled her tea around with the spoon, narrowing her eyes as she tried to read the man opposite her. But she wasn't like him; Rey had never needed to _learn_ people, but she did need to read him. The need to poke around in his brain, fish out details he kept hidden.

"Rey?" Her head spun, and she met Jessika's eyes—one of Poe's work friends. Her eyes were narrowed at Ben, and Rey wanted the ground to swallow her up. "Who is this tall slice of handsome you've not told me _a thing_ about?"

Her heart began to hammer in her chest; Rey's eyes widened at the thought of having to lie—something that seemed to come so quickly to Ben—to someone she knew. The words twisted in her throat, burning and making her stomach knot. Ben's glare had returned to her, and it made her cheeks burn up because she had to say it—the _F word_ —and she really didn't want too.

She had always been known as the single one, even when she had publicly dated Bill Beight—or as Finn named him, BB-8. Their breakup had been horrid, so painful, and everyone in her entire life had witnessed it folding in on itself before it exploded into ashes. He had left her for a job of a lifetime, and she had stayed behind, clutching the pieces of her shattered heart—not willing to move from Jakku Village incase her and Finn's family ever came back. It had been her last relationship, and she wore the scars from it every day. She didn't trust anyone; she didn't even like anyone as much as Bill. He had been kind—kinder than she deserved—and he had loved her for all she was, not just what she showed him she was.

Time had slowed so much it made her dizzy; everything had silenced. Her heartbeat could only be heard in her ears accompanied by the low-chiming of spoons meeting bowls. Jessika was watching her, her eyebrows dipping as concerned flooded the bright pilots face. This woman had wiped her tears, and now she would lie to her—even when she didn't deserve it—just because Rey had committed herself to Ben. If only for this weekend.

All at once, the room ignited into its usual sound

"He's my fiancé!" Rey shouted, suddenly realising she had stood up and bellowed this out across the room. Ben reached for her hand—not sure if it was to steady her or yank her down—but still, she took it back. "Get off my hand; I'll be outside."

She pressed her hand to her forehead, darting through the tables seating guests as she headed out to the front garden of the house. As soon as the fresh air hit her, the gravel crunched under her shoes, Rey calmed. Bending down, dropping her head to her knees as she rocked from her toes to the ball of her feet.

This  _was too much_. The pressure; the lies, and Rey had six more days of this _at least_. Was it worth it, just so that she wasn't bothered by men? It couldn't be, there had to be other ways, signs she could craft that told people to _fucking_ do one!

Hands were suddenly placed on her shoulders, large ones that nearly engulfed her whole shoulder and part of her chest. She knew only one person who they could belong too, but she didn't care as they guided her back to her feet and a standing position. Rey turned to face him, looking up slowly as her eyes passed his chest, his neck, and just as she met his eyes, embarrassment flooded her.

"Fuck," she gasped.

"Fuck _indeed._ You shouted."

Rey nodded awkwardly, cupping her mouth. "I did—"

"And now everyone knows—"

"They do," Rey mumbled as her eyes glazed over. "I have a fiancé…"

She heard him scoff, harsh and blunt. "A _fake_ , fiancé. But yes, technically, for this week, _you_ have a fiancé."

She wanted to punch his _technical_ face, but she refrained. This situation _was_ Ben's fault, but _this_ wasn't Ben's fault. Rey should have been more relaxed, and she should have been able to lie easier.

"You went red," Ben mocked. "Like traffic light red—"

"Shut up!" Rey hissed.

Ben let out a short laugh, and it sounded off, but not terrible. "You nearly took out a table… you're a mess."

Her arms folded across her stomach, her fingers pulling lightly at her shirt. "You don't have to be an arse about this."

Ben shrugged. "But I will."

"Thanks, for you know… coming outside to find me."

He stared emotionless at her. "I didn't want too."

Rey hated him a little all over again.

* * *

After the embarrassment of her shouting, and the photo shoot in the day she had been forced to attend. Rey spent the night in hers and Ben's room, reading Harry Potter and laughing at Harry's obliviousness.

When she woke, Ben informed her that the next two days were seemingly all theirs. And the two sighed in relief that they might be able to enjoy themselves—they had been wrong.

The first day had been a challenge they hadn't expected. While Rey had wanted to hike and explore, Ben had wanted to read and be silent. She argued they should compromise since they were both now engaged, but even that fight she lost, and she stormed out on her own. Ben had _always_ found her—no matter how much she had run and hid. It was almost as if he sensed her presence, and while he moaned the entire time on the nature walk, he still laced his fingers in hers when she wanted to leave him behind.

"For the pretence," he would say. "Not because I don't want you to leave. I don't care."

"Okay?" She'd say, smirking to herself at how fearful he was of the beings in the trees.

That night she turned the television on—much to his annoyance after the remote-gate. She'd hold her knees close to her chest, sitting on the edge of the bed as she rocked and watched channel 4's ridiculous documentaries or E4's _Big Bang Theory_ and find Ben chuckle every now and again.

They fought over room service, and she locked herself in the bathroom for a moments peace. Ben would tell her off for sitting so close to the edge of the bed, and when Rey would fire back that he said 'he didn't care,' he'd then throw his phone—for the thousandth time that day—and put another dent or crack into the object.

She shouted he was an _idiot,_ an angry-fuelled man with Daddy issues, and she watched as a thunderstorm fell over his face, but it bothers her more when he remained silent. Rey stood on one side of the room, waiting for the lightning to hit her, and Ben stood on the other wishing to shatter her to nothing. Neither happened.

Rey climbed into bed and listened to him toss and turn against the carpet, and so she invited him to the bed, falling asleep the moment he did. She hated him for it, but she closed her eyes, plotting ways she could kill him tomorrow.

The next day turned out to be better; Ben seemed less _irritable,_ and Rey found she was less on edge. They first ordered breakfast to the room, and she chose to dress in yoga pants and a comfortable top, while Ben played on his phone for the better part of an hour. Rey found he occasionally looked up and watching the breakfast show that Rey had been following.

When she suggested going to walk near the lake, he went and got changed in silence, not arguing at all when they arrived.

"Can I?" Rey asked, and he didn't reply with words, looping his fingers around hers as she relaxed against his hand. "I hated holding hands as a child."

"Me too," he replied cold and sharp.

The guilt was drowning her sorrow at seeing such a beautiful sight, and she knew she should apologise, but she wasn't sure how. Rey had stepped over a line, but Ben wasn't a rational person in the slightest. She contemplated this as they walked around half of the lake, coming to a stop near a bench as he let go of her hand, crossing to sit on it.

Rey shifted her weight, biting the inside of her mouth as she moved her eyes from him to the lake. _Just say the words_ , she said to herself, and yet they never came.

"I'm sorry," Ben said suddenly, and she hated him a little for how easy it had been for him to say them. "I put you in an awkward position at this wedding, and it was wrong."

"I'm sorry for being a bit of a bench," Rey smiled, and Ben's lips curled into a smirk. "I crossed a line."

"You did."

Rey nodded. "I was just angry."

"You were."

She sighed, not sure if this was going well or not. She closed the gap between them. "Do you forgive me, _fake_ fiancé?"

Ben laughed—a sarcastic one, but still a laugh. "Yes."

Rey didn't say anything else, letting the moment wash over them and become their past. She watched the water glisten under the sun, finding comfort in his company and worried she wasn't alarmed by it at all.

"Does it feel like you've known me forever?"

She turned to look at his side-profile. "It does."

"Okay." His words were always so final and direct. "I feel the same. Like we are...  _friends_ or something ridiculous."

Rey moved her hand across the bench, grazing his hand with hers, not knowing why or what she was doing, but she didn't fight it. She blamed this place and its beauty for the odd reactions she felt towards this man because there was no way, back in the city, would she have agreed to be _someone's_ fiancé.

"I feel like deep down you're a part of my life," Rey said, attempting to seem deep and philosophical. "I don't have to explain so much of myself, and can just be with you," their fingers lacing, "and touch you without it being weird. Even though it is weird and I've known you for four days."

Ben didn't say a thing for a second or two, turning his palm to meet hers. "Technically you were my fiancé before you were my friend."

"Technically you ruin nice moments with your need to be technical," Rey replied dryly, and neither said anything after that, heading back to their room hand in hand.

Their evening was similar to the night before, except they didn't argue or disagree. Ben laid over the bed beside her, his feet near the headboard as she wrapped her hands around her knees. Every now and again, his large hands would tug her back a bit, and she knew he was stopping her from falling.

He ordered them sandwiches and fries, and as the meal took effect on her, she lay on her side close to him. Not feeling at all in danger by the strange man she had only seen once before and met officially at this wedding. Rey didn't remember falling asleep, but when she woke in the middle of the night, she found herself comfortably under the sheets. A weird weight pinned her down, and she hoped it wasn't because she was about to be sick. When she tried to roll over, and she found she couldn't, she felt around, her eyes widening as she felt Ben's arm across her stomach, and his body close to the side of her. Rey went back to sleep quicker than she ever had, curling her back into Ben easier than she expected, a smile on her face as she did.

* * *

Rey swirled the champagne glass, staring around at the beauty that was the boy's stag do—aka, another party evening where the guests could dance. It seemed to be the entire theme of the rest of the week, eat in the day and dance it off at night. Rey wasn't complaining in the slightest, except that it was nearing an end.

The wedding was the day after tomorrow, and there would be one last hoorah that evening, and then she'd be heading back to the busy city to live in her mundane flat again. She liked waking up to a lake and trees, wildlife humming and breakfast all ready for her. In London, she got arguing neighbours and bread mouldifying in her cupboards—the two worlds were so far apart it felt like an entire galaxy was between them.

Ben had also grown on her—much to her annoyance. With Rey spending twenty-four hours a day with him, and finding they had similar tastes in food and film, he had begun to seem a little easier to understand. Plus the cuddling from last night had been rather nice. She couldn't remember feeling so content with someone arm over her, even if Ben had said it was a mistake.

Her eyes caught Finn's, and he smirked at her, and she hated that she knew exactly what he was thinking. _Are you still hanging around with Solo, hmm?_ Rey mentally sent him back a message to go fork himself in another room. She drifted her sight over the other guests, her heartwarming as she saw Poe dancing with his old General, the scene making her choke up slightly—not that she'd ever acknowledged it.

"Oh, look how sweet Poe and Mrs Organa are," Rey smiled to herself as she clutched Ben's arm. She felt the muscles under her tense, but she didn't break from the sight of Poe dancing, find the whole buzz of the upcoming wedding rather enjoyable—something she hadn't expected at all. "He can't remember his mother, so the General—well ex now, she's retired—always looked after him like a son."

Ben cleared his throat, and Rey looked up to see him staring at the same sight. "Like the _son_ she never had."

"Well, I don't know that but—" her eyes returning to Poe when she saw the General look at them, and begin to walk in their direction. "Oh shit, she's coming this way, and—"

He shook her fingers off his arm, straightening his jacket as he tended from the top of his head to the bottom of his shoe. Ben glared at the approaching woman as if she had offended him; staring until she set on fire or bowed in pain under his glare.

"Ben…" the General smiled as she stopped before them, and Rey cast her glare from her to Ben. Ben rolled his jaw, swallowing whatever he had been planning to say. "I didn't think you'd be here."

"Clearly," Ben snarled. 

Rey wanted to elbow him for being so rude, especially when it was directed at such a nice woman. And then Ben had continued. 

"Where's Father then, Mother?"

 _Oh fucking-fuck._ Rey watched as a flicker of sadness in Ben's dark eyes blossomed over what had been there before. He couldn't break his eyes from the woman, and the General from him. She wanted to walk away, leave the family troubles to the actual family, and then the General turned to her.

"Rey, it's so lovely to see you again. I should introduce myself less formally, Leia Organa, Ben's mum," Leia smiled, softly but forced under the situation.

She shook her head gently, the same as she would have done when Leia was a General. "Pleasure," Rey lied—because this current situation was anything _but_ pleasurable.

"She's a good girl, Ben. Don't let her go," Leia managed to say before her eyes filled with tears. She didn't say goodbye, bowing from the room as the emotions fell over her.

Rey was paralysed, watching Ben like a hawk as he tried to mask every feeling he was currently encountering. She wanted to say something, be supportive even if she was only a fake fiancé.

"Ben, listen—"

"You don't need to comfort me, Rey. I'm _fine_."

His eyes pierced into hers, and Rey wanted to believe him, but she honestly didn't and couldn't. She could see the veil of lies like it was her own; she recognised the tone she had mastered herself. It was odd to stand before someone who was just as broken as she, but for reasons opposite to her own.

"Don't flatter yourself," Rey jested, "my comfort would have been selfishly spoken anyways, I don't want to be beside a misery guts all night."

She heard him chuckle, and her shoulders relaxed—unsure when they had moved to beneath her ears. Ben knocked back the drink in his hand, hissing at the taste before dropping it on the table.

"Do you fancy getting drunk?"

Rey shrugged. "Sure," she replied, finishing her drink. "To the bar."

* * *

The afternoon became a blur, and the evening turned sideways. Rey remembered laughing, and he remembered Finn warning her to be careful. But that's all she remembered until they got back to room. Her and Ben. 

His shirt was unbuttoned slightly, and in her intoxicated state, she found she couldn't stop herself from leering at the chiselled chest she could see.

" _My parents are together, but not together. Han, my dad—"_

" _The antique collector?" Rey had exclaimed, shooting back a shot of something she didn't know._

 _Ben had shivered in annoyance. "Yes._ Him. _He was a fabulous father if a father is absentee and allows your mother—well, persuades your mother—to send you to boarding school."_

Rey slid out of her shoes, steadying herself against the wall as Ben unbottled two bottles he had brought up from the bar. Whisky and vodka—two drinks she couldn't stand if she were honest. He raised them both, and she drunkenly pointed at the vodka, knowing full well a hangover was imminent.

" _I was orphaned as a child. I lived in an adoption home for a while; then I bumped around foster homes until I landed on Finn and his foster family. We gelled together, not able to be separated."_

_Ben had tapped the table annoyingly throughout. "You win."_

_Rey had frowned in annoyance. "This isn't a competition."_

" _If it is, you win."_

" _Fuck you're an arsehole."_

_Ben smirked. "It's the Solo in me; blame my dad." Rey felt a pang of guilt at how sorrow Ben's words were woven together._

He handed her the drink, and the lights around the lake made the scene outside the window look more beautiful than she had seen previously. Ben was admiring the same, the two staring out and sipping on the drinks that were currently helping them to forget a lifetime of pain.

She felt comfort in being with him, being surrounded by someone who had suffered too. Finn was fine, great even, but there were somethings she couldn't admit to someone as pure as Finn; needing to unload on an arsehole every now and again.

" _I'm not like others. For so long I needed someone to show me my purpose in all of this, not knowing I was the only one to show that to myself," Rey admitted, turning the glass in her hands. "I always felt so alone. I sometimes still feel so alone, and I know I have Finn, but... it doesn't go away."_

_Ben took her hand from the glass, turning her fingers before placing their palms together. "You aren't alone."_

" _Neither are you."_

She looked up at him, the light hitting him in a way that made him seem more of a giant; the layer of drunk making him seem more relaxed, comfortable, and she wanted to climb him—as ridiculous and unlikely that was.

Ben turned to look at her, washing in a look that movies tried to create and romance books made women feel was achievable. But it was feasible, it was here, looking at her, making her heart thump loudly and perspiration built on her palms. She felt nervous, but only a little bit. The alcohol was dealing with the rest and silencing it as much as it could.

" _Join me, Rey," Ben said with a smile. "Join me in our room, and drink stupidly until we both forget our names."_

_Rey hesitated, staring at his hand as she felt a barrel of feelings she couldn't comprehend with the amount of tequila in her stomach._

" _Let the past die, even if it's just for tonight."_

_She slipped her hands into his._

Her eyes moved to his lips, remembering everything from downstairs. She wasn't alone; neither was he. The two of them having found one another, having pieces that made the other one less alone. It was crazy, and she knew without the haze of drunkenness she would be analysing the hell out of this. So would he. But they were drunk, and they were both vulnerable from sharing and comfortable from bonding. And technically, they were bonded in love and upcoming marriage, so this was allowed, surely?

Rey sighed in content, his body turned towards hers, and it caught her attention, and hers moved to face his. His eyes stared down at her, and she noticed the flecks of lighter brown in his eyes—something she had never seen. The way it changed as he looked her over, darkening as he lit her skin on fire, and lightening as he met her eyes once more, widening a little as though in surprise.

Her body wanted to move closer, and it did, closing the gap as she stared at his light, soft skin and his beauty marks. The way his dark waves sat over his eyes and hid his ears. Rey needed to run, she needed to disappear before she drowned in him—but her feet couldn't move, as though a force pulled her here, and kept her in place.

She was set to speak, to shatter the moment because fear dictated she should. And then Ben leaned down, his body moving closer to hers and their lips met as the world froze as they touched. Everything around them, the lake stopped shifting, the birds stopped chirping, and even the stars didn't flicker; not until she wrapped her arms around his neck, and parted her lips a little more, turning her head so she could feel his lips against hers more. His arms wrapped around hers, lifting her from the ground as if she was made from air, and carried her across to the bed.

His lips were softer than she expected, warmer than she imagined. Rey felt the sheets greet her back, his hands gliding over her knees and she felt goosebumps flood up her legs, tugging at his shirt to keep kissing her and never let go.

This messy, unpredictable situation, it soothed her like nothing else could. For years she had taken a tablet a day just so she didn't fall apart, when all she had needed, apparently, was him. It was ridiculous if she thought about it for too long, because she didn't really know Ben, and yet she did. Rey felt it, deep down. It was in the way he touched her and the way he kissed; the way he held her close to him only proved it.

"Fuck," he whispered against her lips, his hand moving into her hair as she pulled him on top of her, needing to feel him against her. "Rey, fuck…"

The way he said her name nearly pushed her over the edge, and nothing had happened yet. It sounded perfect, and she wasn't sure why. He had spoken her name plenty of times, but this felt so different. Ben moved his lips down her cheek, brushing against her jaw as she untucked his shirt, running her hand against his abdomen as he tensed, stopping his movements.

Their eyes met. Beautiful, bright and happy—both of them. They mirrored one another's, and they also both knew they couldn't _do this_.

"I'm drunk. You're drunk."

Rey shook her head, not wanting it to end. "I know, but—"

Ben darted back from the bed, his shirt all over the place, and her lipstick all over his neck. "You're drunk, and I'm taking advantage."

 _'Take advantage'_ , her brain screamed as she admired the curve of his chest she could see. "Ben…"

"I don't want this to happen because we are drunk," he said firmly, not allowing her to argue her case as he stepped into the bathroom.

If Rey had been soberer, she might have noticed the way he said it was indicating he did want it to happen, just with them both choosing too. Rey however, was drunk, and all she felt was a pit of embarrassment and shame that she had been rejected, by someone she was coming to like.

* * *

The hangover hit them both like a war. Neither moved much in the morning , nd when Rey realised she had to go and meet Poe for a walk around of the day, Ben didn't mutter anything when she left.

She should have been paying attention to whatever Poe was saying, but her eyes drifted to Leia's—who had also come—and Rey's constant fear that Ben's mother knew the truth. Whatever that actually was. Rey wrestled with her feelings and what was right, and when she finally returned to room ten in the late afternoon, she decided that acting as though nothing happened was the best option. As amazing as the _nothing_ had been.

It had become a routine that she sat beside him as they watched television. If Ben minded, he'd hadn't said a thing. He ordered them food, and he got her ice-water and paracetamol for her head as soon as she arrived.

Rey hadn't known what to do with the feeling, she knew she was supposed to be ignoring, until Ben had offered her a t-shirt of hers. He hadn't even pointed out there was vodka on her PJ top, as though he knew she would be emabrrassed.

She nibbled on the fries, finding herself twisting in his company, and Rey found she needed to do something to take the focus from what the walls had seen last night and her memories wouldn't allow her to forget.

As the advert interrupted their show, his hands stretched out over his legs, and Rey felt the opportunity arise. She could question him, and ask him all the things that had been pecking at her brain—the ones that got louder, and louder.

"What's Kylo Ren about?"

Ben looked at her, a mixture of annoyance. "Rey," he warned.

"As your fiancé—"

"You cannot keep using that—"

Rey ignored him. "As your fiancé, I should know everything about you. Don't you think?"

Ben sighed. Either he knew she wasn't going to drop it, or it wasn't worth her finding out. Either way, he ran his hand over his face and muted the television, turning to look at her with an expression she had come to know as _I hate you right now_. "

I had a YouTube account where I had _a lot_ to say, specifically about my parents, and other political shit I didn't understand. I was a complete tossed, but even under my alias, I was and am pretty recognisable. Upon my third year appraisal, Hux played it for the entire bank staff, having found it when he had done some _soft digging."_ He swallowed heavily. "I deleted that account when I got the job at the bank; I wanted to move away from all the shit with my dad, and my parents."

For a second, she almost felt sympathy for him. He looked a little conflicted himself from her company, but she had been alone for the longest time. Only having Finn to call family, so she knew in her heart that wasn't the entire story.

"What did _you do?_ " Rey asked, her lips sliding into a smirk as he stared at her questionably. "I know you'd have done something. You appear clever and impulsive," he raised his brow, and she moved her arms around her chest, crossing them over, "you told a man that _I don't know,_ that a girl _you didn't know_ , is your fiance? Apologies if I have stereotyped."

He smirked at that, a flicker of a smile wishing to appear that she hadn't expected to seem so warm.

"I broke his nose."

Rey let out a giggle, which quickly turned into laughter and she listened as he began to merge with hers. It sounded odd, and yet beautiful.

"Of course you did," Rey said wiping laughter tears from her eyes. "And how do you still have a job?"

Ben smirked. "No one saw me do it."

Rey clutched her knees as she laughed, burying her chin against her bone as she watched him eat. He was disgusting, but handsome all the same.

"I bet you ranted about love and how it was a trick by people to make cheating and all other darkness okay," Rey teased.

He snorted. "I didn't talk about love. I'm not a child.

Or a teenage girl."

She picked at the end of her pj's. "You did this when you were a child. So I'm sure you were, _in fact,_ a child." 

His eyes rolled, and she felt him prickle beside her. 

"I'm sure you could be romantic," Rey laughed, and Ben groaned. "I'm serious. I'm laughing I know but, you could be."

Ben raised his brow. "Do I look like the sort of man that even feels love, never mind knows what romance is?"

Rey wiggles her toes, and the corner of his lips twitched. "Give it a go, say something romantic. I want to see if you drop dead from being nice."

Ben flicked a crisp at her, one she caught with her hand before popping it in her mouth. "Disgusting," he commented.

"Go on," Rey said, shoving him with her finger. "Relieve me of your presence."

He rolled his eyes, brushing the crumbs from his fingers. " _Fine_. If I could go back to the day we met, I'd be less of a dick," Ben said, a slow smile passing over his lips, making his eyes narrow and grin lines begin to appear.

Rey rubbed her lips together, tilting her head against her knees as she tried to hide her blushing cheeks. "Wasn't so hard now was it? You aren't dead though; you're very _much_ alive."

The two kept their eyes on one another, her hand moving to his crisps before she took one, slowly crunching it with her teeth. The sound filled the air, seeming louder than it actually was. She swallowed, struggling to silence her mind and stop it from filling her throat with words she didn't want to say.

"You're thinking loud again."

Rey nodded, swallowing loudly again as the last parts of the crisp descended down her throat. "If you went back in time, to the day we met. When you put your hand on my hip, even though I didn't ask you too, I would hope you wouldn't change a thing."

He looked at her emotionless, just like he usually did. His eyes, however, flickered with something bright. It was fleeting, but it was there.

"I'm not dead," Ben said suddenly, and the moment fell apart. "Neither are you."

"No, I'm not."

His eyes fell to her lips, and the bubble of tension in her stomach fluttered again. She wanted to say something, anything, but Rey's desire had silenced her. She found she needed to touch his lips, needing to feel them against her own more than she needed to breathe.

Ben seemed to be thinking the same, but then his phone rang, interrupting the moment for a second time, and sorrow filled her every fibre.

"My father's not coming," Ben said as he put the phone down. "I need to see her. Leia."

He hesitated, moving closer, not sure what to do and her mind screamed for him to kiss her at least. His doubt silenced his need, and the moment in his eyes floated away, and Rey was unable to grasp it, watching him walk to the door and leave, not taking the way she felt with him and leaving her here to deal with it.

* * *

She didn't see Ben in the morning. Rey had woken to find him gone with a note on the side explaining he'd see her at the ceremony. For once, she didn't overthink it, her stomach fluttering with the thought of the many eyes that would be on her as she stood by Finn's side as she gave him to Poe.

Finn had always said her three signature ponytail look had been his favourite. It was the one she sported when she met him, playing in the sandbox of the house Rey had been staying at as she waited to see if she'd be fostered. He had entered the sandbox, tall and confident, and immediately got into role play mode and told her they were being attacked and needed to run. He had grabbed her hand—something he did for years after, even though she hated it—and yanked her. Rey had screamed and laughed as he tugged her around the garden, but she had honestly never felt more safe with anyone else before.

As she smiled at the reflection—admiring how good she had gotten at taking her hair—she thought of Ben holding her hand. Rey thought about how he had been the second person in the world that could hold her hand and not spiral her into a panic attack. It meant something, surely. He brought her hope that she wasn't as broken as she thought; Ben brought her peace with a lot of the demons she carried with her.

Not that it mattered, this was just a rouse, and none of it meant anything. As painful as that was to admit at this stage.

Dressing in her light beige dress, she took one last look at her minimalistic outfit and smiled at how comfortable she felt. Rey grabbed her bag, leaving room ten—not sure what the day would bring.

Poe had greeted her first. "You look... _beautiful._ Your _fiancé_ is one lucky man," he teased, winking at her as she flicked him in the arm.

"Finn is lucky to have such a skilled, handsome pilot to be shackled too," Rey taunted back, helping him with the cufflinks that Leia had lent him.

She had wanted to ask about Leia, about Ben's mum and whether Poe knew who she was. But she refrained, today wasn't about her or Ben.

"I'll see you on the other side," Rey said, pressing a kiss to his cheek as she left his room, heading to Finn's.

Each step felt like a challenge. Today, she'd watch Finn leave her for a new life, and while she was happy, she also felt a little sad at the possibility of being more alone. He was family, more than she had ever had. Rey had not needed to have such thoughts, the moment she opened Finn's door, seeing him dressed in a three-piece tux, tie in hand—having no clue what to do with it—she realised she would never be free from him.

"Help me," Finn pleaded.

Rey tutted, crossing the room as she snatched the tie jokingly. "Do you remember that time when we stole that car," she smiled, placing the fabric around her neck as she crossed the two pieces over, "and I told you to—"

"Keep an eye on the house and make sure they didn't wake up, and if they did to pull the rope?"

Rey nodded. "Even then, you were a massive child trapped in a young man's body. Who _doesn't_ know how to tie a tie?" Pulling the end through the loop, she presented the tie. "Your only job was to keep those people we called parents off our back."

"And I did!" Finn exclaimed as she placed the tie over his head.

She laughed. "We also got a stone through the window, and the vodka bottle cracked filling the car with that odd, funky smell for weeks!"

Finn smiled as he did his tie up, looking at her with so much to say, but not knowing where to start. "Thank you."

"I love you," she replied, and he forced himself to look up as his eyes began to fill. "Poe looks ridiculously handsome. I might steal him," she added, changing the subject to something lighter and less emotional.

"Yeah?" Finn questioned. "You'd wanna give up Benny-boy?"

Rey didn't answer or get a chance to as someone knocked on the door and said it was time. Never before had she been saved by _life_ , but she was glad she had now. Finn shook off his nerves, as she did the same; both mirroring each other, even if they weren't looking at one another. When they caught sight, they both burst into laughter, and that was the sight the event planner saw.

She looped her arm through his, feeling the weight of responsibility fall to her shoulders as she led Finn to the altar. Each step thudded in her ears, and she felt the tips of them getting redder and redder. When they approached the double doors, they opened, and before she could focus on the decor, the flowers or the eyes that would fall on her, Rey saw Ben.

He looked at her like she was an enigma—like he had been surprised she existed. Rey saw into his thoughts, drowning in his opinion of her and how intently he stared at her. She closed him off, shutting down whatever it was and offered him a small smile—one she couldn't stop thinking about as the registrar talked about hope and love; future and peace.

When the words ' _you can kiss the groom'_  sounded, Rey turned to meet Ben's eyes, finding them firmly on hers, and she couldn't help but rub her lips together, needing to feel his against hers. It was ridiculous, childish and a stupid crush—but she couldn't stop thinking it, not here, not with all this romance.

As she followed Finn and Poe out, finding her smile came naturally as she did, it warmed her, even more, when Ben moved to stand by her side. His mouth got close to the ear, his hot breath tickling her ear: _you look mediocrely okay,_ and she couldn't help but grin as she said, _you brush up okay for an arsehole._

She wasn't allowed to taunt him more—or receive more taunts of her own that made her face go red—as she was dragged off for photos. They seemed tedious and ridiculous. But when she was excused and given a large glass of champagne, she immediately forgave her brother for the torture.

It didn't take her a second to spot Ben, stood side by side Hux who looked to be whispering something to him. Grasping her dress in her hand, she crossed the room, watching Ben's jaw tense but his eyes soften as he admired her work. The metal centre-pieces, all handmade out of old things from her and Finn's flat, or fitted together to make metal planes and park benches—things from their relationship.

He looked at her before he should have known she was there, and her smile played out naturally—just like a real fiancé would, she told herself.

"Rey," Ben breathed in relief. His lips found her forehead, a move that sent a wave to her stomach and a flood of panic through her. He had _never_ done that, and yet, he had done it so naturally. "I was just admiring these, have you seen them?"

Hux watched her; he watched her so intently she felt she was under investigation. He wanted to see her fail; to see Ben fail so he could ridicule him again. Whatever her body was doing by betraying her by making her feel things, she wouldn't allow it to effect Ben.

Staring into the brown eyes, finding them shades lighter than when they met, she swallowed, sending her heart down back to her chest from her throat. "I made them," Rey said, blushing as his wondered eyes moved to meet hers. Her fingers teased a tiny cog, moving back to its place. "These, well these were specific to the wedding and my brother—well _brothers_ now—but these are what I make."

The corner of Ben's lips twitched. "They are amazing."

Hux who was staring from one to another looked confused, and Rey cleared her throat as she blinked away the emotions in her eyes.

"These are, well different to what I showed you," Rey said, hopefully explaining Ben's reaction; except Ben's expression hadn't changed, and the look he was giving her was turning her insides to jelly. "Ben?"

"Oh," is all he said, his eyes going from the metal-aeroplane centre-piece to her. "You're very talented."

Hux rolled his eyes. "Agreed. Excuse me, the emotions here are...well, sickening."

Rey felt her cheeks blush as Ben licked his lips, and she couldn't help following the tip of his tongue. She wanted to feel them against hers again; those chapped, plump lips that felt all so wrong and right all at once. The announcer, however, interrupted and the two of them stepped apart, turning to meet the two groom's walking into the room as they were introduced to the entire guest party.

Her eyes couldn't stay on them, occasionally drifting to the man beside her; the one who's arm had looped around her waist—something she didn't hate a single bit—as she clapped at the sight of her married brother Finn.

Something inside of her flickered on, like a light in a seemingly dark hallway. It shed light on parts of her she didn't know were there, and made the fact she was stood next to Ben—of all people—seem more poignant. Rey had wanted to kiss Ben; she had wanted to run her calloused fingers through his soft, wavy hair. It felt foreign to feel so...lost and found, so safe and in danger. So scared and so complete.

Lost in her thoughts, she didn't realise Finn had made a beeline for her until he was stood in front of her. His arms were opening as she melted into his hold, stepping out of the comfort she had with Ben. Finn twirled her on the spot, her smile grew into a grin as her eyes clasped onto Ben as she 360'd in the air, before allowing her head to dip into Finn's neck as she had done as a teen.

Her feet landed on the floor, but her head continued to spin, and Finn laughed until he didn't, staring into her eyes and seeing her confusion.

"I'm borrowing her," Finn said, and Rey didn't argue as he took hold of her arm. She didn't even fight it, her mind swirling like water ready to descend into a drain. "Talk to me."

"Congratulations, I am so happy—"

Finn looked at her unimpressed. "Talk to me about why you're happy."

Rey placed her hand on her hip, grasping her dress, hoping the feel of something other than Ben's suit would bring her back to the moment. "My Brother just got married, a seemingly impossible task I had thought."

"Rey," Finn warned, pressing a hand to her shoulder, fixing in place, halting her from vibrating on the spot—although she hadn't known she had been until it stopped. "I mean this, in the most polite way, but do you have human feelings for the man you've spent the week with? Because that's kinda normal if you have—just _saying."_

She punched him lightly in the ribs. "I'm not an alien, Finn!"

"Fine, human-Rey. Do you like him? And for clarification, before you tell me you like Poe as a Brother and Chewie as a DJ, I mean, Ben. Do you like Ben Solo?"

Rey crossed her arms, hoping for a wall of defence to come up and protect her. She didn't want to consider this—it was an agreement, no feelings, no touching romantically. Although, they had both broken the latter the other night. "Finn…"

"Rey," he said firmer, placing the other hand on her shoulders. "He's a mess of a person, but you aren't that sorted yourself. It is okay if you do. He's not terrible, and while I'll always think you deserve the best, the way you've laughed this week...doesn't make him all bad in my opinion. Even if he looks like he could be the front man for world domination."

She felt her cheeks blush as a soft laugh left her lips; the burning embarrassment spread down her neck to her chest as the champagne began to add its effects to her discomfort. "He doesn't like me. He doesn't _get feelings—_ "

"Rey," Finn laughed teasingly, "I'm not asking you about him—but he's lying. It's..it's what people do when they're scared—"

She bit her lip, flexing out her fingers as she lightly wobbled them in the air. "I like him. I mean, well I think I like him. No, I do. I like Ben Solo."

As the words left her mouth, Finn began to grin slowly, and the sound of glass shattering was all that was heard. Rey's heart beat once, and her head spun around, meeting the fearful eyes of one Ben Solo before it beat twice in her ear, watching him turn from her out of eye line. Then sound returned all at once, the music from the party engulfing the moment and her thoughts.

* * *

She followed him, ignoring Finn and everything else here. His legs were impossibly long, and Rey practically had to run to keep up with him. She was thankful when he didn't slam the door in her face, leaving it open for her to walk inside before closing it behind her.

Rey didn't know what to do, did she stand, did she sit? She had just admitted her feelings for _this very man_ ; the one, she most certainly, liked. She didn't know him, not like she should for the way he made her feel.

The seconds were now fragmented, lay at her feet as the headrush from the words that had left her lips and the look in his eyes that confirmed he had heard every word. She liked him, and Rey knew she shouldn't.

Rey felt the air tighten, becoming stifling, making it difficult to breathe. She has no idea where she wants to go, but she needed a second, a moment, to be alone and collect herself–collect her thoughts.

The temperature seems to plummet, the hairs on the back of her neck standing up solid and fearful. Ben is here, right behind her, and she doesn't want to lose her mask, and she doesn't want to appear scared, because she is neither of those things.

"You're stubborn," Ben began, and Rey felt her insides knot as he stepped closer to her. "You're a messy, mess of a person. You're stupidly heroic, a goody-two-shoes and too fucking kind for their own good."

"Stop, please," Rey snarled.

Ben ignored her, scoffing at her. "But you aren't terrible to be around. But I am." Her heart flickered in her chest, her stomach twisting so tight she expected it to explode all over him. "Rey, I'm not a good person to be with, or around. I have more issues than a therapist knows what to do with and I'm angry, a lot of the time. I'm _nothing_ like you."

Her heart dropped into her stomach, slowly flipping around as her happiness began to deflate. _He_ didn't feel the same, and she should have known that, but somehow, stupidly, Rey had let her guard down.

Ben held his hand out, similar to their second meeting, and Rey looked at it the same way. "I don't know how I ask you this, join me? Date me? I have no fucking idea—"

"Wait, you like me too?" Rey asked, and her heart zoomed back into her chest, beating fast and furiously against her bones. "Ben, don't do this because you feel you must. Don't do this because you heard me—"

He seemed to be wrestling with something, but whatever held him back, lost. Ben dropped his hand, running the other through his hair as he sighed against his wrist. "I like you; I don't know why because you're actually impossible to be around but..."

Rey grabbed the sides of his shirt, her eyes staring into his as he licked his lips. His words trailed off, the room silence except for the soft hum of the music beneath them; The last night festivities, the week-long celebration coming to a close. The two stayed in the moment, paused all picturesque and perfect. Both were waiting for the other to break the moment; both waiting for someone to make the first move.

Ben did, beating her to it, bending down to close the height difference, and pressed his lips lightly against hers sending firebolts and lightning all around her. Something began to pool in her stomach, her legs turning to jelly as the two deepened the kiss.

There was nothing fake about this, nothing pretend about them anymore. They were both in this honestly, with nothing but the truth, both falling in love the same way as the two who had committed to one another downstairs.

**Author's Note:**

> Find Me On Tumblr: [josiegrae](https://josiegrae.tumblr.com)


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